Unlock Your Child's Future w/ Shellee Howard

College preparation is about so much more than applications and acceptance letters.

In this inspiring episode of Nailed It Motherhood, Tamara Eldridge sits down with college admissions expert Shellee Howard to discuss how parents can intentionally prepare their children for success by helping them discover their gifts, clarify their values, and build a future rooted in purpose.

Shellee shares the lessons she's learned from working with families for nearly 20 years, revealing why early planning, meaningful experiences, financial literacy, and authentic conversations have become some of the greatest predictors of student success.

Together, they explore how parents can replace pressure with curiosity, encourage independence without losing connection, and help children confidently pursue paths that align with who they truly are.

Whether you're raising an elementary student or preparing to send a teenager into adulthood, this episode offers practical guidance and fresh perspective for navigating one of parenting's biggest milestones.

If you've ever wondered how to prepare your child not just for college—but for life—this conversation is one you won't want to miss.

Subscribe to Nailed It Motherhood and share this episode with another parent who's raising the next generation with intention.

Connect with Shellee:

Shellee Howard's Books on Amazon
College Ready Plan Website
Shellee Howard's Social Media (TikTok, Instagram, Facebook, YouTube) - https://linktr.ee/collegeready
Core Values Quiz

Transcript

SPEAKER_03 0:00

Do you wish somebody wrote down the recipe for your parenting challenges? Did you want tips and tricks to become a better mama for you and your babies? I know I do. If you're a mother who feels that you are doing the best you can with the hands you've been dealt, but you're still getting it done, then this podcast is for you. I'm so glad you tuned into Nailed It Motherhood because we might have the recipe that nobody wrote down. Have you ever considered the real life planning it takes to send your kids to college? Sending your kids to college could mean you need a second or even a third job. Unless they get strong financial opportunities like scholarships or grants, or you start planning early. Hmm, mine is six. What should I do now? Welcome back to another episode of Nailed It Motherhood Podcast. I am your host with The Most, Tamara Eldridge, and I am so glad that you chose to come back and spend your time with us today. On today's show, we are going to talk about how our guest's personal experience of navigating college led to expert advice, which she can now share with you. All to help you prepare early for higher education. With over 18 years helping families figure out how to get their kids into the right college without blowing up their finances, our guests would love to give you, lovely listeners, a clearer way to think about it. Please, please, please help me welcome today's guest, Shelly Howard, to Nailed It Motherhood Podcast. Hi, and thank you so much for joining us today.

SPEAKER_01 1:53

So great to be here.

SPEAKER_03 1:54

Thank you as well. All right. So I've already expressed to you how excited I am to have this conversation. But before we dive in, I would love if you could tell us just a little bit about who Shelly, the person, is, aside from being a mom.

SPEAKER_01 2:14

Absolutely. So I have been fortunate enough to uh be raised in Southern California. I think that's an important piece of who I am. I am a true uh walk on the beach with my dog kind of lady. And the ocean brings me grounding. And so I do enjoy being outdoors. Um a few fun facts. I uh was I went to San Diego State and I was on the snow ski team, which everybody kind of scratches their head going, how in the world does that work? And then another fun fact is I have parasailed off the top of the Matterhorn in Switzerland. I've been to 101 countries and I love to travel.

SPEAKER_03 2:58

That is an awful lot. So I was kind of like internally scratching my head as well about the snow. But I'm actually more curious about the 101 countries. If you could choose to live in any of those, would you choose one of those 101? And if not, where would you choose to live?

SPEAKER_01 3:20

Hands down, hands down for me, it would be Italy. Italy is one of the most magical places. And I I had the opportunity to raise uh an Italian exchange student for a year, so I got to actually learn a lot about the culture and the person and wow, are they great cooks?

SPEAKER_03 3:37

That's important. So um, yeah, okay. Um I'm living I'm going to put Italy on my list. I've actually never been, so I guess I have to go just to see what the real food tastes like. Okay, good to know. Thank you for that advice. Um, I love your story already, and we haven't even gotten into why we're here today, but we're gonna hold off a little bit longer, and our listeners know why. It is time for me to share our Tavi Tail. Tavi Tail is probably the key part of our listeners getting to know who Tamara is because that is my connection to you all listeners. In today's Tavi Tail, I'm going to connect to Shelly just a little bit. So my daughter is six years old, and you know, I'm in education, so I have to try to prepare her early. I understand what it's like for a little black girl to be overlooked in the world, to be overlooked in the school. So I'm trying to give her all the tools that she needs so that she can get a full ride because I'm not paying for college. But my six-year-old daughter has already made up her mind that she is not going to college. And I don't know where this idea comes from. I really think it's because she's tired of working at six. And I am trying to help her understand, baby. You are just getting started. This is just the beginning. And even if you choose not to go to college, you are still putting in your very best effort in school because guess who your mama is? Me. And guess what's not going to happen? You are not going to be sitting and not doing anything. So at the age of six, she has told me that she's not going to college. But a couple weeks ago, we visited Philadelphia for a special event. And I do want to add the caveat that we are recording in May. So that would have been in April when we went to visit Philadelphia. And I know that Penn State is not on the way. It's somewhere in the middle of the state, but it's up in whatever. So I have a history of blood clots, and I know that I should not ride for that five hours straight. So I wanted to stop at Penn State and take myself a little walk so that I can show my daughter the school that I went to because she's never been. And I don't think my boyfriend has ever been either. So I was like, let's go to Penn State first. We'll take a little tour, grab some ice cream, take a picture at the statue, and then we'll get back on the road and drive the rest of the way to Philadelphia. That will give me enough time and movement to kind of get my legs circulating, my blood circulating, and it will give you all an opportunity to see where I graduated from. So we did. It started raining, it was cold. They decided they didn't want to take the car from the garage. They wanted to walk from um Beaver Ev up to the uh creamery. So we walked. It wasn't raining when we started walking, but I said the clouds look pretty gray. It's going to rain. We'll be fine. We'll be fine. There's nowhere to park up there. Okay, you guys are sure about this? I asked about three times and they made decision. They made the decision to keep going. So we walked. It started raining right before we got to the ice cream. We ate the ice cream, came out. It was raining even harder, and it was cold. But I was very committed. We are going to that statue. You know why? We're going to that statue because I don't know when we're going to get back. And I want this souvenir of my baby at the statue at the lion. So she was excited the whole walk there. And then after the pictures and the cold rain, she decided to sit on the wet lion. So her butt was wet and her legs were wet. Then she was super cold. And then she was mad at me. But it was a it was an overall good visit. I love the pictures. I wasn't sure if I wanted to post them because I didn't tell anybody I was going to be there. And I know people are going to be mad at me. So if you're listening to this episode and you didn't know, surprise I was there. I literally just stopped by. So I'm sorry. I'll tell you next time. But um later that weekend, maybe like four days later, not even that weekend, four days later, my daughter was like, Mom, I like your college. I want to go back. And I'm thinking, do you want to go back when you graduate from high school? So maybe, Shelly, I'll be calling on you to help me figure out financial aid if she does not have a full ride. So thank you for listening to my Tobby Tale. I'm calling that one We Are because she will be Penn State. So thank you. And now I have the lovely pleasure of coming back to you so we can listen to your her story segments. And I want to give you the floor so that you can share about your experience with four children in your home and the hundreds of children that you have getting ready for college. So there you are, your personal parenting journey.

SPEAKER_01 9:05

Thank you so much. And I fully resonated with what your story was. It brought back such a happy memory. And when my son was, um, I have two boys and two girls. And it goes, boy, girl, boy, girl. And it's important because people who have boys and girls will know. So we were heading back to the East Coast. And I said, Well, if we're gonna be in Boston, we might as well go to Cambridge. And let's just go check it out. That's not where I went, by the way, parents. I I probably uh wouldn't have gotten in there. Um and so we went upon our visit, and my son at that point was in about fifth grade, and uh my daughter's four years younger, and we go into the freshman commons, the hall, and it looked like Hogwarts straight out of a movie. And he's like, Mom, this is the coolest place I've ever seen. When can I come here? And I'm like, and my job is done.

SPEAKER_00 10:11

Exactly.

SPEAKER_01 10:13

Exactly. Yeah, so I totally resonated with your story. And uh, so parents, a little bit about myself. Um, I have been fortunate enough to grow up in Southern California, but I also have traveled all over the globe. I think it's a very important part of me that helps families understand that I truly embrace all cultures, I truly embrace colleges coast to coast, and we've added international uh institutions, study abroad as well as study at. And it all started with my firstborn. I'll give you the brief introduction because it did take four years, but that young man came home from school in eighth grade and said, Mom, I know exactly what I want to do when I graduate high school. And I'm like, All right, what happened at school today? He says, Well, the counselor came in from the high school and said, We need to pick our classes. And so she said, it's best if we know what we want to do. And so I've decided I want to be a brain surgeon and go to an Ivy League school. And he said it so matter of fact that he was fully convinced. And I was sitting there probably with my mouth open, going, uh, I'm not sure how I'm supposed to respond to that. Like, sure, honey, you can do anything you want, or that's kind of a big dream. And so he very nonchalant grabs his snack and goes to walk out and he says, But mom, will you help me? Oh, then it gets real, right, parents. Now I had to put on my mom hat and be like, okay, how am I gonna help him navigate into Ivy League, into medicine, and I was the first to go on to college in my family. So we're talking a massive jump. We had no medicine in our family. I was the first to go to college, and now he had this huge leap. And I made a deal with him. I said, I will do this with you if you do you. In other words, I'm not doing your side of it. I will get you the strategy, I'll help you navigate, but I'm not writing your essays, I'm not doing your applications. I I truly want you to embrace this. And he's like, sure, sure. Okay, mom. And so we started out at his local high school. And I said, please tell her what you told me. And she says, So what do you want to do? And he says, Well, I want to be a brain surgeon, I want to go to an Ivy League school. She paused and looked at him and said, Why would you do that? They don't make money anymore. And I just felt like the elephant in the room was humongous. I'm like, I never expected another adult to kind of shoot down his dream. And I'm sure she didn't mean anything harmful by it, but he looked at me and he's now, now what, mom? And so it truly ended up being on my shoulders. So I went back to school and I got my master's. Then I went back to school and I became a certified independent college consultant. I then went back to school and became a financial strategist. And I helped my son navigate this process for four years. So, on top of my full-time career, I spent 30 hours a week navigating college admissions to help my firstborn out. What I learned about that is there has to be an easier way. We had 33 spreadsheets, and I was burning the candle all night sometimes, just trying to figure this out. The nice part is, is he did exactly what I said. Now keep in mind, parents, I have three other children who did not. So I know that this is not what every child does. But he did. He actually followed through with everything I asked, except for one. And I said, You're this was going into his junior year. I said, Why don't you want to do community service? He says, Mom, I don't want to wash old people's feet. And I'm like, What? What are you talking about? And he goes, Well, isn't that what you do for community service? And I'm like, Well, I suppose that could be one of the options, but where did you get that? And he said, Oh, my friends were talking about it. And I thought, oh, okay, there you have it. And I said, Well, I think we should do some something you're passionate about. I think we should do something that you care deeply about. And as a matter of fact, why do you want to be a doctor? Oh, it got real. I wanted to know, is he going to college to graduate with the DR in front of his name? Or did he really have the heart to serve humanity for the rest of his life? And I challenged him. I said, What is your plan? How are you going to tell colleges what you want to do? And he says, Mom, I am so busy. I don't have time. I can give you two weeks over the summer, and that's all I've got. I said, Will you do anything? And he says, Yes, mom, I will not even complain. So I booked us both a round trip flight to Kenya, Africa. And we stayed in the slums of Mathari, one of the worst slums in the world. And we worked in a school, in a village, and in a clinic. And I saw this young man step into his future. It was one of the most memorable times I remember experiencing that with him. And long story short, that was the game changer. That's when he got very clear. His essay got published in two books. He got student of the month, student of the year. He got accepted into 11 out of his 12 colleges. He had seven full ride offers, full ride to USC and Harvard matched it. So he went to Harvard, his dream food commons, and he got his first B. He was like, Mom, I'm okay with it. I'm at Harvard. I'm going to get my first B. It's going to be okay. And I'm like, great, you're socially growing. This is lovely. And then he said, I'm not sure if I want to be a doctor. And now he was questioning himself. And I said, Well, the only way to know is to do something else. And so he decided that he was going to be a consultant, for lack of a better word, for a very large pharmaceutical company. One, two weeks into it, he's calling me, Mom, I need to study for the MCAT. I need to apply to med school. This is awful. I don't want to be here looking at a computer all day. And so he made it for a year. He did take the MCAT. He ended up going to UC San Diego Medical School. And then he matched at UCLA Orthopedic Surgery. He graduated two weeks ago. And I will tell you today, he is in Ethiopia, Africa, doing hip and knee surgery for free. That's what it's all about. That's what my kids are all about. And that's what's important to me. So, parents, I just want you to know if you're unsure what your child wants to do, or if they're unsure what they want to do, you have to face it. They need you, or they need somebody to help them navigate because not every college has every major. Not every child is going to go to college, right? We don't know what Tamara's daughter is going to do. So we want to be mindful of helping our child figure out who they are, what matters to them, and how will they prove it to the university or to the job or the career or whatever that looks like for their future. But until they know their core values, their gifts, their talents, their advocacy, how will they ever share that with another human being? That is what I get to do every single day. At College Ready, we have been helping students for the last 18 years get into their best fit college and graduate without debt. In 2026, I had 29 seniors earn over $11.6 million in scholarships. That's a lot of money. There's money, parents, there's opportunity. But most importantly, your child needs you because if you've asked them lately about their financial literacy, how much a car costs, how much a home costs, how much that lollipop costs. They have a huge area of opportunity and they need you more than ever. And so at College Ready, we help with the academic strategy, the social strategy, and the financial strategy. And that is how we help students navigate to live their best life forward.

SPEAKER_03 19:12

So that was such a beautiful story. Um even a nice plug for College Ready, but it was more your personal parenting journey. And that's what I truly, truly love and value about that. And that is why I welcomed you to Nailed It Motherhood Podcast, because your story is not only important to me, because I know that not everybody has the same opportunities for access like this. Um, but everybody does not have the same connection to the parenting aspect of how this resonated with you. Therefore, you understand just how integral it is of an experience for students to be able to know the to the components that it takes to get where they want to go. I have so many points that I was writing, and I I will never write in pencil again because I feel like it slowed me down. Um but I'll start with a question that surrounds you. Um because it sounds like you've mentioned that your children are just they give back a lot. They are servants. Um, and that is something that is not very popular anymore. That is that's very rare. And when you find students that want to give back and that you hear passion when they speak about giving back, you wonder who are your parents? Like, I need to meet them. So I want to know where did you learn to give back first? Because they absolutely learned that from somebody.

SPEAKER_01 20:52

Hmm. Wow, nobody's ever asked me that question. That's a really insightful place for me to really articulate. I believe, so neither of my parents ever did community service. So I can't give credit to them. But my grandmother on my dad's side, his mom, she was a Sunday school teacher. And so she would teach us that the most generous thing we could do is to give up our time. And so even though she, I never saw her do it, I knew that that was something that she valued. And I believe it's one of my core values. I I really deeply feel that if every human being did 200 service hours that they were passionate about before they turned 18, that our world would be a much better place to live. And I believe it just stems from that belief because I create passion with purpose projects for teenagers, middle school. School, adults, um you know I tap into it at church. It's a very, it's a very important connection for me. And it's maybe not what listeners might be thinking. I I never thought of it for college, not once. I thought of it helping my children figure out do they like to lead or follow? Do they like to work with the elderly or or the little ones? Do they have a voice or are they more um kind of shy? And so I used to take them when I was little, when they were little, as long as they could walk, and we would serve together. We would do Thanksgiving and we would do rapping and we would, we would hand out water, whatever that was. And I would then say to them, wow, genuinely, that was beautiful what you just did. And then they felt good about themselves, their confidence built, their leadership soared, and it really was a gift of giving them that confidence that I knew they would they were going to be successful. And so I think it's more about who I am versus who I got it from. I love that.

SPEAKER_03 23:14

I really love that. And and you mentioned that you believe strongly in your core values, and that was something that I wrote down about you um needing to make sure that you understand about your children. Um and I'm connecting that to a scripture train up your child in the way they should go, um, and that they will not depart. Um, so you kind of called out a framework, if you will. And I don't know if it's a true framework or if you were just speaking it out. So helping children to learn their core values, you knowing what matters to them, and then helping them to show how to prove to, and I said blank, whether it be institutions, whether it be jobs, whether it be um different programs that they want to be a part, helping them to prove that they belong in there. They must know their core values, their gifts, and their advocacy first in order to succeed. And you didn't say in order to succeed, but I'm just wrapping that up and summarizing all of that. I thought that was such a powerful statement. Um, and I love the way that you navigated those components of preparing and planning for the future in your son's story. So I'm gonna go back because you said that he came to you in eighth grade telling you that he knew what he wanted to do. And I I'll tell you what I wrote. I wrote eighth grade, boxed it, and put two explanation points beside it. Because in education, it's it feels like there are several school districts, I will say, that are not preparing kids for the future until it's too late. And we always wonder where is the sweet spot? Where is the period of time where kids really need to start thinking about planning for their future? And I was honored to um be asked to be a keynote speaker for an eighth grade promotion this school year. Congratulations. And it, oh my God, I almost cried. I was like, me? Are you are you sure you got the right email address? But I was so it was such an honor. But in my speech, I do ask the eighth graders going into ninth grade to really start thinking about what they want to do after they walk out of those doors in four years. And a part of that is I say to them, you need to decide who you want to be. Are you gonna be a person? And I'm not gonna give my full speech away because if you were not at their graduation, you don't get to know what I said. But um I will say three D's. One of them I won't tell you because I don't want people stealing my joke, but it's a sound that you make when you're thinking about trying to word something about somebody else in a professional manner because you don't have anything good to say. So that is the first D. The second D is a doer, and the third D is a dreamer. So I asked them, who do you want to be? And what I heard from your son is that he was a dreamer. He came to you with a plan. He was so excited, and he knew that he had to do some things to make sure he was getting there. Now it took a little bit after he decided what well, actually, I won't say that. It was the counselor that you said that kind of deterred him from his dream. And then he kind of he was like, uh, but you walked him through it. And mom is a dreamer too, because you went, you said you enrolled in three different programs to help navigate this process. Did he know that you were going through all of these things for him?

SPEAKER_01 27:21

I'm sure I probably said something. I mean, I was super busy because I had a full-time job as well. I was not a stay-at-home mom. So I'm sure they noticed that I was pretty busy. But when they were in school and, you know, doing their teenage life, I don't necessarily know that the effort. I don't, I don't know if he knew the effort that was put in. I know he knows it now. There's no doubt about it. But back then he was so busy with, you know, his sports and his activities and so on and so forth. And then, you know, so my first is a doctor, my second's a nurse, my third's a physician, physician's assistant, and my fourth is an entrepreneur. So it's interesting that three out of my four did go to the service path. And I'm needle phobic. So I told parents, you don't have to be in that field. But it is so true. They all and that at oh my gosh, at Thanksgiving, we sit around and all they do is want to talk about blood and this and that. And I'm like, I'm gonna excuse myself because I'm squeamish. So I I'm I am definitely the unicorn. I've started seven businesses and I have four kids and I love what I get to do every day. Um, but to your point, core values are so missing right now. And your child knows them by eighth grade, they don't change. They go deeper, but they don't change. And so I would challenge any parent who is like, I don't even know what she's talking about. Um, if you go to my website, um, though I'll be in the show notes, I have a free core value quiz. I would encourage you to do it and then have your child do it, and then match up to see if you really know what their core values are, because I was completely wrong with all four of my kids.

SPEAKER_03 29:14

I will definitely be doing it. That's amazing. Now, would it be user-friendly for the child, or is that something that I should ask my, ask her questions and then answer for her?

SPEAKER_01 29:24

At her age, I would ask her the question. Um, she may not know, you know, she'll understand I love my family, or the opposite of that is I want to live across the United States from my family. You may have to articulate for her what that actually means. But a teenager, they're very interesting. They either want to be really, really close to their parents or they want to get really, really far away. That was me.

SPEAKER_03 29:54

There's not just but I didn't know why. I mean, I loved my mom. I just yeah, but that's it's this isn't about me today. Go on.

SPEAKER_01 30:04

And so it's really common. And so for a teenager who deeply is rooted in their family core values, socially they struggle going far from home. And that is important to know before you pick their college. Yeah. Because so many times kids get there or trade school or whatever it is, living far from their parent. And then the other one is they really lack financial literacy. I have a game that would be fun to play, even with your with your six-year-old. It's called You Want to Be a Millionaire. And most children will say, Yes, please, I would like that. They understand what that means. And the game only has two rules. One is you can't roll your eyes or cross your arms or be like, that's just stupid. And as a parent, you can't have judgment on how they spin their million dollars. That's really hard to do, parents. Like biting your tongue is really hard to do. I'll give you an example. A student would say, I would first buy a yacht, then an airplane, and I'd fly my friends all over the world for a year. And I say, no, honey, one million. You only get one million. They're like, Yeah, yeah, one million. So there's a total disconnect. I've had other students say, I give all of it, all of it away to a charity. Every penny. Or I give it to my parents to pay for their for their rent. So you'll hear what is deep inside of them if they had all the resources in the world.

SPEAKER_03 31:42

Yeah, yeah. Um, that actually kind of leads me into just an a thought and a follow-up to something that you shared. Um, so I had the opportunity to sit on a scholarship committee um where we were interviewing several seniors and asked them all the same questions, but got very, very different responses. Some of the students were from um were immigrants. So you can tell the kind of responses that they were giving weren't because they weren't intelligent, they weren't because they were involved, it was because that's the standard. You asked me a question, I answered the question. You could tell that the the kids that were local had a lot more to say. Um, but you could see the passion behind the things that they really love to do, and I thought that was beautiful. Um when you uh talked about your son asking why he wanted to be a doctor, and he really couldn't answer that at first. So you challenged him. You challenged him, you took him to study abroad, you made sure that he knew whether he wanted to be a doctor, whether it was for title or for service. And then you knew that that's where he needed to know what his plan was and how he would show that whenever colleges asked how you've prepared to be in this role. Um, this is where I was like, What? You did what you studied abroad and took him and worked in a clinic with him. That is amazing. Talk about sacrifice, and I mean a good sacrifice nonetheless, but talk about the things moms will do for their kids. Um, but I love the fact that after that, that's when something inside of him awokened, if you will. Like, whoa, this is what I want to do. This gives me life when it comes to answering those questions because I put my hands to the dirt. I've been able to really touch and feel and understand that this is what I love. And then even when he questioned, I don't know if I want to do this anymore. You said, Well, try something different. Instead of pushing him, because this is what we've been planning for, and this is what we've been working for since you were in the eighth grade. This is what we're doing. I told you this we well, he didn't have to spend money because he got a full ride. Thank you, God. But you did not force him to go that direction. You challenged him to say, Well, put it down for a little bit and go see if you like something else. And he said, Absolutely not, and this is where he fell into his true passion. And I love those strategies. I love those strategies, and I wish I could just kind of take you and put you in my pocket and like carry you with me while I raise mine, but also because I want other parents to understand like this is what the parenting part is when it comes to preparing our children for the future. So I said all of that to say long-winded intro to this next question. Do you get the opportunity to not just work with students, but to work with parents on how to kind of navigate with their children through this process? And when do you get to start touching base with them?

SPEAKER_01 35:24

So it depends when the family finds us. I tend to get a lot of second children because they mess up with the first one, to be honest. They're like, I got this, I got this. Oh, I didn't do as well as I had hoped. And so I get a lot of second kids. And so what the parent is always concerned about is they don't want to mess up their child's future. That's a reality. They they don't know what they don't know. And that leaves them to a place of I have a 50-50 shot of really messing this whole thing up. So when I meet with a family, I offer a 30-minute uh complimentary conversation. And that's the first time I get to talk to the parent and the student in the same room and helping them get connection about what the family focus will be on. Will it be on the academic fit, the social fit, or the financial fit of their future? Now I even bring in AI so I can even talk to the family. Will this job be their trade, career, entrepreneur, whatever you want to call it? Will it be there when it's time for your child to graduate from high school? That's one thing we all have in common that we're not gonna get away. And so if we don't have a plan, in other words, well, we're just gonna wait and see. That's like waiting until you're 80 to start saving for retirement. It's it's just not going to play out well. So I tell families, it's really important in middle school to start helping your child figure out who they are, what matters to them, and how will they prove it. Not college, not a name of a school, not pressure, self-reflection. We have a program I take students through, and it's called See Our Future Now. And it's just about helping students understand do I like this or this? Do I like this or this? And the more we can help them not like versus like, we help them to step into their greatness. So when I meet with families, uh, the parents, adults, sometimes it's grandparents, and I help them understand this is their child's gifts, talents, core values, and what they advocate for. Most of them are surprised. They thought the student was just lazy. What they found is the student had no idea what to do, so they did nothing. It was like the deer in headlight syndrome. I'm terrified, but I'm supposed to be pretty cool because I'm a teenager now, so I'm not gonna tell people that I don't know what I'm gonna do. And now you get into this really shaky ground because the parents putting pressure on, society's putting pressure on, and this teenager is going, Hey, nobody's telling me the rules of the game. You're you're asking me to play the game and win at the game, but nobody's teaching me the rules of the game. And that causes a lot of friction in the home. So a lot of times parents will call me and say, Shelly, will you tell my child that being a botanist and going to NYU is a bad, terrible, bad idea? And I'm like, first I have to understand why you think it's a bad idea. They're like, what do you mean it's a bad idea? You know, they have so much in their mind of that what they believe to be true. And sometimes it is true. A lot of times it's true as parents, right? We have wisdom. But the thing is, if you tell a student no, they dig in. So instead, what I recommend, families, is just gently asking, tell me more. Help me understand where what makes that tick in you. That is fascinating. I don't have that gift. What a pleasure it must be to have vision. And really, instead of saying, I'm not paying for you to go to art school, it would be help me understand what about art that brings you joy. That's a totally different conversation. And we open it up to that conversation, the teenager lets their guard down and they're like, I'm just good at it. It's fun, it's enjoyable, it comes easy. Wow, you just learned so much more than if you were to say, How is your day? Fine.

SPEAKER_03 39:56

Yeah, I love that. And what I heard you say that I've been hearing on so many podcasts and so many conversations through so much research that I do for the work that I do is to lead with curiosity. Instead of shutting it down, ask those questions that allow the voice of your child into the conversation so that now you guys can open the door for that dialogue. And maybe you can have an understanding of why maybe that isn't the best option for you. But if you still want to keep those things that you love, you can find this here, or you can choose this as a major, but then maybe use this as a minor or something like that. So um I love that leading with curiosity, I believe, saves the day. And it is a skill that I am still very much working on. But that tell me more is the curiosity piece that I think so many of us need to learn. It's a skill, it is uh what is I'm trying to think of the word, it's a virtue that we need to be taught. I love that. So good.

SPEAKER_01 41:12

Yes. Um, did you want to add anything else? I guess what I wanted to add was if they won't talk to you, parents, remember, I have four. Not all of them were like, yay, I want to tell mom everything. If your child does not want to have these conversations with you, put them in front of somebody who whom they will have those conversations, an aunt, an uncle, a grandparent, a teacher, Bible study, I don't know who it is, but don't take it personally. They're they're trying to figure out how they're gonna separate from you in just a few years. And that still feels really weird for them. For some, it'll be super easy, and for others, it'll be difficult. So, my my wish for you is if it's not you, then just help figure out whom that is. I know you took your daughter to your cousins, and maybe they're having this conversation right now. And so it's important to know, parents, it doesn't have to be you. It just needs to be a wise adult who can lean in and say, You're amazing.

SPEAKER_03 42:20

I love that. That trusted adult. Sometimes that is your only option to get information that you need from your child or about your child. Um, yeah, I love that. Um so I want to thank you for sharing your personal parenting journey and giving us expert advice. I love what you said, just in general. Um, like I said, I will be talking to you after we stop recording because I have another opportunity I would love for you to uh partake in. But I do want to also share that you said that the first three of your children are all in the medical field and your last child is an entrepreneur. So I'm just gonna say if we haven't thought about it, your last child should just go ahead and open up that practice and hire all of your kids and keep it in the family.

SPEAKER_02 43:16

Yeah, that's genius.

SPEAKER_03 43:18

Why not? You have seven businesses, you know how to run them. So good. I hadn't thought about that. Well, there you go. Let me know if it works out for you. Okay, so I'm going to get us a three-minute clock on the screen because it is tea time. So tea time is a game of rapid fire. I have a bucket full of questions, which you get to answer in three minutes, Shelly. And we just get a little more insight into who you are by answering, asking, and answering these questions. So, Shelly. Are you ready to play tea time with us? Oh, I'm looking forward to it. Awesome sauce. I'm excited to hear what you have to say. And I promise you, none of these questions have been asked during this interview. So I'm definitely excited to just get to know a little bit more about you. So I will go ahead and start us off. What smell instantly makes you happy? Ocean. Ocean. You said ocean walks with the dog. Are you a morning person or a night owl? Morning. Morning person. Okay. Name your life's Broadway play.

SPEAKER_01 44:38

Oh, here's a good one. Um my gosh. Beautiful.

SPEAKER_03 44:47

I heard the song Beautiful. I just want you to know. Okay. What's the worst piece of advice you ever received? It'll all work out. Yes. If you had to do it all again, would you? If I got to go with my wisdom. Okay, so you've learned that. So you're gonna take that with you and then start over. Name the most spontaneous thing you've ever done.

SPEAKER_01 45:12

Flown to Italy within 24 hours of not even having it on my mind. Really?

SPEAKER_03 45:19

Yeah, that sounds pretty spontaneous to me. Okay, which emoji do you use the most?

SPEAKER_01 45:27

Oh, the one with the the little three heart kisses.

SPEAKER_03 45:31

I like that one too. Where's your dream vacation spot? Italy. I was about to say we did hear that question. What's your favorite way to unwind after a long day?

SPEAKER_01 45:45

Taking my dog for a walk at the beach.

SPEAKER_03 45:48

Yes, you heard that one too. Okay. What pet peeve will you never get over?

SPEAKER_01 45:55

People talking behind me in the movie theater.

SPEAKER_03 45:59

Sorry. What's your guilty pleasure?

SPEAKER_01 46:05

Oh, I love sheep milk yogurt.

SPEAKER_03 46:10

Oh, okay. Okay, we'll come back. We'll come back. What season of life are you in right now, and what is it teaching you?

SPEAKER_01 46:20

Oh, I all four of my kids are adulting, so I'm an empty nester, and what it's teaching me is the hard work has paid off.

SPEAKER_03 46:30

That's beautiful. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 46:33

What small things bring you joy? If I wake up and I have a Bible verse that my child left for me.

SPEAKER_03 46:45

Aww, that's sweet. I knew you were a Christian. If you could give your younger self advice, what would it be?

SPEAKER_01 46:53

The people you spend your most time with will have the biggest impact on your life, so choose your friends wisely. I love that.

SPEAKER_03 47:01

I absolutely love that because it is so real. Oof. Now, did you write that?

SPEAKER_01 47:07

Or you just got that was just improv right there. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 47:12

Well, I'm gonna make sure you get that quote. Shelly Howard. All right. Well, I want to thank you for showing up. And at this time, I actually want to give you the floor back to see if you have any more inspiration or words of wisdom that you want to share to our listeners.

SPEAKER_01 47:35

The one thing that I would say, parents, now that I'm on the other side of uh helping my children adult, is we're we need to focus on the real idea of their future. Is that college? Is it influencer? Is it trade school? What is it? It's not about that's not the destination. The destination comes after that. So if you could help really focus on what that is, the rest comes so much easier and it's quite enjoyable. So I just want you to know you've got this.

SPEAKER_03 48:17

I love that. I truly, truly love that. And I also love the fact that you brought in influencer into the future of our babies because that is such a real option now. And honestly, it's not even the future for some of our kids. Some of our kids are making bank, not mine yet. And I promise you, if I were to allow her to have a page, she she would oh, it would be stressful. Um, but some kids are already doing that work and setting themselves up for the future. So I appreciate that you brought that in because that is another outlook that we need to consider as we're parenting. So thank you for that perspective. Um, so Shelly, as we wind down, I do want to ask you what is next for you and how can listeners connect with you?

SPEAKER_01 49:15

Do you plan on opening up two or three more businesses or what's next for for me and for college ready is we're adding and beyond. What we're finding in this world of AI being a disruptor is families are really questioning should I send my child to college? Should I send them to trade school? What what what should we be looking at? And so it's not just college anymore, it's what what is their future? So I'm going to call it beyond. The other thing that we're working on is really getting clarity to help students prepare LinkedIn profiles, help them to prepare the resume, help them to have hands-on training and not sitting behind a computer 24-7 looking at everybody's best day. And so we're calling it CR Future Now, Standing for College Ready Future Now. And the goal is to give the family three careers in which there is a perfect fit for that child, letting them know how much money it will or will not make before they ever spend a dime or time against it. That's where College Ready is heading because that's what these students need to be successful in this new AI age. Love it.

SPEAKER_03 50:42

I absolutely love it. And um I might have to go ahead and look into it and start pushing it myself. Uh, how can people connect with you on social media, via email, or any other method?

SPEAKER_01 50:59

So a couple of things for your listeners. I have both of my best-selling books on sale on Amaz on Amazon for free. So they're not on sale, they're free for your listeners. The first one is how to send your student to college without losing your mind or your money. The second is the college admissions plan simplified. So if you go to Amazon, you can put in my name, Shelly Howard, with lots of ease. Um, you will see both books and you can download them for free because I believe resources should be available to everybody. If you're like, I know I need more, go to collegereadyplan.info. I hold Ask Shelly Anything workshops that are totally complimentary. And so I'm on every social media channel, including TikTok. I'm not too silly, but I do give a lot of wisdom. And the goal for me is to allow families to know what their options are so they don't feel stuck, but they feel empowered. And that's what I would recommend doing.

SPEAKER_03 52:04

I love that. Awesome. Thank you so much for sharing that. I will make sure all of that information is included in the description underneath our video, underneath the audio, whatever podcast you're listening on, just scroll down, make sure you open up the description and keep on checking to see how you can connect with Shelly Howard. And then you can click on all of these links to make sure you are getting all of this complimentary information. Keep in mind that she is not charging, so please do not disregard the ways that you can connect with her. Um, well, I have to thank you again because you were just a breath of fresh air to talk to. Um, your story is super, super fun to hear about, but it's also just encouraging to hear how you, as a mom, took the liberty of really digging into this question that your son asks, Mom, will you help me? Um, and you were like, roll up my sleeves. I'm gonna go ahead and go back to school three times, and we're gonna get you through this. But our kids need crazy because nobody else will go that hard for them. So we appreciate that because not only did you help your son and the four children, no matter how much they took or did not take from you, but you helped hundreds and hundreds of families and will continue to help hundreds and hundreds of families with the free resources that you're providing. So you're impacting families that you don't even know that you're impacting. And I think that it is very, very critical that you've done this work. So I appreciate it and I thank you for sharing what you've done so that we can also follow your footsteps. We have to follow those who have gone before us and have found success. So we appreciate it. Now, this is the part where I get to ask you the questions that I ask everybody.

SPEAKER_01 54:10

Is parenting hard? I believe parenting is the hardest job you will ever love. I would absolutely agree. I don't think it's easy, and if you if you put your whole heart into it, it's just like anything else. I think it is hard, but I I wouldn't change it for the world. I love that response. Thank you for sharing.

SPEAKER_03 54:30

But are your children still standing? Your adult children still standing.

SPEAKER_01 54:37

All four are still standing, and uh, I'm one proud mom. Um I I wasn't sad when they left. I was actually their biggest cheerleader. I didn't have the empty nest. I was like, woohoo, I did it. And so, yes, they're standing tall.

SPEAKER_03 54:55

That's awesome. I love that for you. I love that for them. And I know that they've had another great, a great example to follow up after. So I'm excited to hear where they go so you can glean from it when they are ready to be parents if they are not already. But with that being said, what do you want to proudly tell our guests today, proud mama?

SPEAKER_01 55:19

This mama is nailing it.

SPEAKER_03 55:23

Oh, she sure is. And if you don't take the advice that she learned, please, I urge you to start today. Take that advice. Please take that advice. So, listeners, if you like this wonderful episode and you want to hear more real personal parenting stories, please make sure you subscribe to my social media as well at Nailed It Motherhood Podcast on Instagram, Facebook, and YouTube. I'm trying to get with TikTok. I'm not very good at it, but I am on it. But don't forget you can also follow us on your favorite podcast platform so that you never, ever, ever miss an episode. If you hit that notification button, you will get it automatically. I encourage you to do that. It will not only help you get to the episodes, it will help me too. So don't forget you can also shop all things nailed at motherhood at our brand new nailed at motherhood shop where you can grab journals, merch, and more to support your parenting journey. We welcome your questions, your comments, and your ideas, and we definitely hope to keep the conversation going. Until next time, keep on doing what it is you do.

SPEAKER_02 56:37

Smoochies.